Sunday, January 4, 2009

I want to thank you all for your encouraging comments, I can't tell you how much they mean to me! Just today I was speaking to a friend who asked why I have not written again. Well it took a lot for me to share for the first time and I was feeling insecure about it. She asked me about the comments I received and my being totally new at this didn't even think to check. Tonight I checked them out and I have to say, again, Thank you! 

I think we all have something we can share to help one another. I am rededicated to not only sharing my feelings and experiences but to also reading others to learn from them. To think that I almost let my own insecurities stop me from continuing down this road now sounds just silly. In reality this is what stops us from doing a lot. It sure does for me. 

Tomorrow will be the 7th week that my husband is not here. In my last blog I had the determination to focus on me. I gotta tell you, this is not easy. Without him here I felt, well, not complete in other words not secure in myself. Not to mention the thoughts I've had.......what is he doing? is he being faithful? Is his family trying to marry him to an Indian woman? I almost drove myself insane after the 3rd week. I would literally wait by the phone and wait for his call or I would start to dial his number like a million times and stop myself. I needed to refocus. I needed to recommit to me. 

It's been rough but I've been able to pull myself back to where I need to be. When we do talk it's wonderful to hear him say how much he misses me and how he wants me there with him but I would become insecure again and had to take steps to prevent this. I started with affirmations to myself. It is so important to tell yourself how worthy you are, how beautiful you are, how smart and loved you are by all those around you. I would stand in the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror while saying these affirmations, just looking right into my own eyes. It's very powerful.

Unfortunately I need to cut this one short but I will leave you all with this. In late December my hubby called and asked me to join him in India. He wants me to meet "your family here" and he wants to share all the wonders and beauty India has to offer. So as soon I receive my Visa from the Indian Embassy I will be booking my ticket to reunite with me love. 

May the powers of the universe influence you each day and may you recognize when it does. 

2 comments:

Lena said...

Too often I'm insecure and afraid to express confidence in myself in my abilities, personality, intelligence and appearance for fear of being disputed or seeming vain. It's burdensome because I'm letting my insecurities get in my own way! So I'll follow your example and begin repeating affirmations to myself.

Mothering With Nature said...

Once again, said beautifully in a way that we can all relate.